Funny Things Said During Childbirth

Forget the tales of painful childbirth and daylong birthing experiences. Many Circle of Moms members have hilarious stories and snippets of observations from the front lines of the labor and delivery room. Here, moms share childbirth experiences that will make you laugh — and cry. But know for sure that they have a chilling truth to them.

 

Going on a rant-page

 There wasn't much that seemed funny during Maria L.'s five days of "major contractions" leading up to her labor, but she laughs at her delirium and some of the statements she made. "My mom told me that I asked the nurse repeatedly if 'it was hard to make people.' I also flipped out a few times about how I hated chicken and soccer."

In mom Kim B.'s birth experience, the nurses were the ones who didn't spare feelings. "When I went in to be prepped for a C-section, I left my bra and panties on because my boobs are uncomfortable without support, and I was leaky from my water breaking," she recalls. "So, I had a pad on to keep me from sitting in a puddle, and the nurse that was taking my vitals looked at me and said, 'You didn't get in this position with them on, now get them off.'"

 

Surprise! It's a birth

 Following what seemed like an unusually long labor, Jessica F. said her husband stepped out for a brief moment to notify the family of the progress. It was then that the baby was born. When her husband stepped back in, he was so frustrated he missed the actual birth that he tried to reverse the process. "When he returned he was all hurt and upset, and he said with a completely serious face 'screw this, we are starting all over, put that baby back," she remembers. "The nurses took a full two minutes to recover laughing before they could hand my husband his daughter."

Keep reading for more delivery-room fun!

 

Oops! Surprise . . . it's a boy

 One mom, Michelle, had immersed herself into all things pink and purchased an entire wardrobe for her expected daughter because an ultrasound confirmed she was having a girl . . . or so they thought. After an exhaustive labor, she recalls the midwife saying, "Look down and see what you've got." Michelle looked down and, "my son spread his legs and peed all over me. All I could say was 'oh my God, there's a penis.' Everyone was just about peeing themselves laughing at me."

 

Passing gas

 Another mom, Brittney, remembers being mortified when she was in the middle of her au naturel birth in the bathtub and "I farted. I was so out of it, I just kept apologizing over and over again" to her mom and husband.

 

Up close and personal

 Can you say awkward? When one mom named Annie had a full house attending the birth of her daughter, the paparazzi got a little too close for comfort. To her disdain, her aunt captured not only the moment of daughter Isabella's birth, but also, "she got a view of my no-no place," says Annie. Even worse? She didn't realize the snafu until after she had posted the birth photos on her social media site.

 

Be careful what you ask for

 When Amber M. invited her whole family to attend the birth, she tried to accommodate all of their needs. Her mom asked if she could watch "the head coming out." She says, "Of course I didn't care. Five hundred doctors and nurses had already seen it. But when my son came out, [her mom] got squirted with amniotic fluid." 

 

The real "poop"

 Some babies pop out and fall right asleep from all that work. But Jennifer remembers how when her first baby was born, "he peed for five minutes." Just when she thought he was "pooped out," the baby "peed on the doctor, then on the clock, then on the floor, then on the equipment, then after five diapers later, he peed on me." 

 

Wishing her tongue was tied

 When a mom named Jen went into labor on Christmas Eve, her attention was more focused on the holiday festivities the next day — and the presents she had yet to wrap — instead of the labor and birth. Except when, much to her surprise, she heard herself exclaim: "I was pushing and at one point I said 'Jesus this [swear word] hurts,' to which my sister responded by patting my hand and saying, 'now now calm down Mary, Jesus can't help you.'"

In the "things birth moms wish they hadn't said" category, Colby S. recalls, after 17 hours of labor, spilling out, "Why can't we just lay eggs?" As she remembers, "The doctor stopped in her tracks as well as the nurses and just looked at each other, and we all started laughing. The doctor looked at me and said she had never heard that one before."

What is the most funny moment you experienced in your child's birth? What was the funniest thing you or a family member said in the delivery room?

 

by Mary Beth Sammons    

 

Source: Flickr user mattgosselin

6 Best Pinterest Board For Kids Party InspirationThat is a Must-Follow

Times sure have changed since kids' birthday parties consisted of a few balloons, a cake, and a stack of presents. Thanks to design-friendly blogs, websites dedicated specifically to kiddie party planning, and, of course, Pinterest, the pressure is on for moms to plan one-of-a-kind, memorable soirees for their birthday babes.

Since scouring Pinterest is our own favorite resource for party inspiration, we've taken some of the guesswork out of navigating the site and rounded up six of the best boards out there to ensure that your kids' next party rocks!

"Kid Parties" From 100 Layer Cake

 

Click to Follow: Kid Parties

Come Here For: Gorgeous, design-conscious pins for a party that's sure to impress.

About The Pinner: The brains behind the wedding-focused blog 100 Layer Cake recently introduced the family-friendly 100 Layer Cake-let, which offers up tons of ideas for stylish living — post-kids.

"Party Ideas" From Hostess With The Mostess

 

Click to Follow: Party Ideas
Come Here For: Inspiring tablescapes, cakes, crafts, and more.
About The Pinner: One of the most popular party destinations on the web, Hostess With The Mostess gives moms start-to-finish inspiration for some of the most creative and thoughtful celebration ideas we've ever seen.

 

"Entertain" From Tori Spelling
 

Click to Follow: Entertain
Come Here For: Recipes, styling ideas, crafts, and even a few pins that would function well for a grown-up soiree.
About The Pinner: As a mom of four, Tori Spelling knows a thing or two about planning a kids' party! Her ideas are fresh, fun, and creative.

"Awesome Party Ideas" From Kara's Party Ideas

 

Click to Follow: Awesome Party Ideas
Come Here For: More than 1,000 pins that are sure to inspire thoughtful holiday and birthday celebrations — from the dessert table to the party favors.
About The Pinner: Kara's blog features printables, trend reports, and DIY video tutorials — no shortage of party-planning inspiration here!

 

Cool Mom Picks' "Party Time"

 

Click to Follow: Party Time!
Come Here For: Products, projects, and more that'll ensure that your festivity is one to remember.
About The Pinner: Our friends over at Cool Mom Picks never cease to amaze us with their offbeat discoveries and wish list-worthy finds!

 

 

POPSUGAR Moms' "Birthday Parties"

 

Click to Follow: Birthday Parties
Come Here For: We're not afraid to toot our own horn! We feature in-depth looks at some of our favorite birthday parties for kiddos on our party board.
About The Pinner: POPSUGAR MOMS is your daily one-stop shop for all of the parenting advice and inspiration you crave!

Nursery Inspiration Board: Deer, Teal, Black and White

I just saw this Inspiration Board on Spearmint Baby and I absolutely love it, so I decided to share it here with you!

Sources:

 1. Nate Berkus™ Amphora Vase
2. Deer Print
3. Diamond Crow Pendant Light
4. Crib Sheet in Teal Deer
5. Spotted Black & White Pillow
6. Benjamin Moore Narragansett Green
7. Kalon Studios Caravan Crib
8. Eco Cross Baby Blanket in Black/Cream
9. Marcel Chair
10. Anatolia Turkish Rug
11. Nate Berkus™ Chevron Pattern Storage Basket

Cluster Feeding

 

 

Cluster feeding is when babies bunch feeds close together at certain times of the day. Though they may leave a couple of hours between feeds most of the day, there will usually be a few hours of constant or close together feeds. Cluster feeding is most common in the evening, although may differ between babies.

Cluster feeding is very common in young babies. Some mums also report cluster feeding returning with older babies who are approaching a growth spurt.

 

Cluster Feeding – It’s Natural

 

Cluster feeding can be very frustrating for new mums. You are undoubtedly exhausted, and probably emotional from the postnatal hormones whirring around in your body, and cluster feeding can feel never ending. Babies are often fussy during periods of cluster feeding. Pulling off the breast, crying and general fussiness can all add to your frustration.

It can also make you feel like a failure. You may worry that you’re not producing enough milk to satisfy your baby, or that you are unable to soothe your fussy baby. Do not worry, cluster feeding is completely normal. Most babies will cluster feed during the early months. It is not a reflection of low milk supply.

 

Why Does Cluster Feeding Happen?

 

The exact reasons for cluster feeding are unknown, however experts assume it is designed to boost milk production. Your baby’s stomach grows rapidly during the first few months of life, and your body must produce more milk to meet the increased demand. Cluster feeding may be natures way of kick-starting this process.

Some experts believe that babies cluster feed in the evenings because they are filling up on milk before a big sleep. Although it is unlikely your baby will sleep through the night during the first few months, you may notice a longer stretch of sleep following an evening of cluster feeds.

 

Cluster Feeding And Low Milk Supply

 

Cluster feeding is not a reflection of low milk supply. Cluster feeding is not a reflection of low milk supply. I said it twice in case you didn’t believe me the first time. If you’ve got a mother in law pressuring you to give the baby a bottle, and a husband wondering why the baby is always hungry, it’s natural to start doubting yourself.

Please believe me when I say you should not worry about your milk supply. Cluster feeding is nature’s way of increasing milk supply. If you supplement with formula, your body will not receive the cluster feeding cues that the baby needs more milk, and soon you will find that you are not producing enough milk to feed your growing baby, and so the prophecy comes true and you have to continue supplementing.

If your baby is producing a good amount of wet and dirty nappies, it is unlikely you have a supply problem. However, if you are concerned and wish to speak to someone, you could contact your healthcare practitioner or a local breastfeeding peer supporter.

 

How To Cope With Cluster Feeding

Cluster Feeding Tip #1 – Acceptance

Babies usually develop a cluster feeding routine. You may find that between 6 and 10pm every evening, you are feeding the baby. Once you know this, you can accept it and plan your evening around it. That way you won’t feel frustrated that your plans have gone awry.

Cluster Feeding Tip #2 – Stay Hydrated

Producing breast milk is thirst business. You may find yourself particularly parched during periods of cluster feeding. Make sure you have a big glass of water next to you when you sit down to start feeding.

Cluster Feeding Tip #3 – Get Comfy

If you know you’re going to be stuck somewhere for four hours, make sure you’re comfortable. Whether you’re snuggled up in bed, or propped up on the sofa, make sure you have your books, magazines, smart phone, TV remotes and DVD box sets nearby to keep you entertained.

Cluster Feeding Tip #4 – Eat First

If you know baby is going to start cluster feeding at 6pm, make sure you’re eaten before then. There’s nothing worse than sitting hungrily while your baby slowly enjoys their three course meal.

Cluster Feeding Tip #5 – Get A Breastfeeding Partner!

Can you just get me a…? You’ve heard of a birth partner, now you need a breastfeeding partner too. A willing volunteer to get you snacks, drinks and provide entertaining conversations to keep you amused during cluster feeds.

Cluster Feeding Tip #6 – Look For Feeding Cues

If you tend to have a fussy, hungry and irritable baby in the evenings, act accordingly. Instead of waiting for the crying to start, look out for feeding cues and offer the breast immediately.

Cluster Feeding Tip #7 – Take Out!

By using a sling or wrap, you can feed your baby on the go. By feeding the baby in a sling, you keep your hands free to get on with other things. Slings also help to keep fussy babies content, because they feel safe and happy being close to you.

By Fiona Peacock
BellyBelly Contributor, Mum and Natural Parenting, Breastfeeding & Cloth Nappy Fanatic

DIY: Stamped Sheet

I'm crazy about stencil, and when I came across with this ridiculously easy DIY of his stenciled and stamped crib sheet I had to share it here with you. This DIY is from the blog Things for Boys, and your are not gonna believe how easy and simple this is, you will want to stamp every fabric that you put your hands on from now on. You can click here for a complete step by step.

 

 

10 Great Pregnancy Announcement Pictures

When I found out that I was pregnant, the first thing I did was to run to Pinterest to start researching for my pregnancy announcement pictures, there was so many that I had a really hard time to decide on which one. So to try to help you out on this task I selected a few of my favorite pictures to inspire you, now you can just relax, have fun and enjoy this amazing time of your life!

How to Make a Diper Change a Breeze

Just because changing diapers is a chore doesn’t mean it can’t be easy. Whether you’re changing a newborn’s diaper ten times a day or wrestling your three-year-old into disposable training pants, here are six ways to make toddler or baby diapering a change for the better.

 Man your stations. Set up stations for diaper changes throughout your house so you’re not running up and down the stairs to your child’s room to retrieve a diaper or to locate the diaper-rash cream when it’s time for a change. At each station have diapers, wipes, and cream within arm’s reach for easy diaper changing.

 Distract your little darling. No one needs to tell you that babies and toddlers are antsy — especially when it’s time for them to lie still for diaper changes. To have an easy diaper changing experience, keep her occupied while you’re doing your business. Sing songs, install a mobile over the changing table, shake a rattle, play peekaboo, or hand her a special toy or book saved for diapering time. All these distractions are sure to make for easy diaper changing, keeping her from wiggling away from you while you’re mid-change.

 Get down to the down and dirty. First, wash your hands (always — you don’t know what you were touching last, whether a jalapeño or a harsh detergent). Then, instead of whisking away the dirty diaper immediately, use it to help swipe off as much poop as possible before turning to the wipes. If you’re changing a newborn, use cotton balls or a washcloth dipped in lukewarm water instead (it’ll be gentler on your infant’s sensitive skin). When cleaning your baby’s bottom (especially a girl’s), be sure to wipe from front to back to avoid spreading germs. Clean the creases between your child’s legs and buttocks to remove all traces of poop and pee. Pat your baby’s bottom with a soft cloth or towel until it’s completely dry (before you slather on cream or ointment to help prevent diaper rash). And because it’s a dirty job (and you’re the one doing it), don’t forget to wash your hands. Keep her safe. If diaper changes are happening on a changing table, use the safety straps to buckle your child in — even newborns who can’t roll over can stretch and fall off the table’s surface. But don’t rely on the straps to keep your baby secure; you’ll still need to keep a constant eye on her (don’t think you can turn your back even for a second).

Change the scene. If your older baby’s pitching a fit at every one of her diaper changes, ditch the table and try a new location — the bed, the bathroom, even the floor. Put a pad or thick towel down to protect the surface (just be careful — a towel isn’t waterproof). She may just be balking at the idea of being strapped in.

Be prepared for anything. When you’re changing a boy’s diaper, always place a cloth over his penis to prevent an unintentional spray (hitting you or the wall!). Another word to the wise: Be sure your baby has finished pooping before you replace a dirty diaper (and waste a clean one).